A couple of weeks ago, I was driving my friend to the airport. I prayed for her in the car on the way there. She said a prayer for me too, something about taking every worry to the Lord. I wanted to cry. I started to, but I held back the tears.
Later that day I met another friend at Starbucks inside of Barnes and Noble. She got two books off the shelf. One of them was called "His Princess - Love Letters from Your King" by Sheri Rose Shepherd. She randomly opened it to the page that was titled, "My Princess, IT'S OKAY TO CRY".
I began reading the page but I could barely read it. My eyes were producing tears no matter how hard I tried to stop them. I try not to cry in public. I told her I couldn't read it very well because it was making me cry. Well, my sweet friend ending up surprising me and buying me the book. She asked me if I knew where the restrooms were, I pointed in the direction, and she came back several minutes later with the book and a written message to me in the cover.
On my way home I was talking to God. I realized there were some things I felt hurt about that I was trying to figure out on my own. I probably had said a quick prayer about them, but I was not talking to God like He was my best friend. And that is what I needed to do.
When I got home, I read the page from the book she had opened it to. This is what it said....
"I see how hard you try to handle your heart, and I know you want to live a life without heartaches or pain. I'm asking you to take a step closer to your Father in heaven by crying out to Me when you hurt. Let me heal you. Remember My chosen, King David? He cried out to Me in his fears, disappointments, and sin, and I answered. You are also My chosen one, and you are My daughter...so it's okay to cry. I don't expect you to pretend that pain is not real. It is truth and tears that will give you the freedom that I want you to know. Now let go of that part of your heart the only I can heal. Let your heavenly Daddy hold you while you cry.
Your King who wipes away your tears
'THOSE WHO SOW IN TEARS WILL REAP WITH SONGS OF JOY.' PSALM 126:5"
God really spoke to my heart through those words. I cried out to Him about things that were bothering me, even yelling at Him part of the time. By the time I was done reading that and crying out to God, I had about 20-30 crumpled up, half wet kleenex next to me on the bed. David walked into the room to check on me and knew I was having time with God. I thought it was sweet that he shut the door right away because he didn't want to interrupt a precious time I was having.
I felt so much better after I really opened up my heart to God to let Him heal me. And I experienced an awesome freedom I hadn't felt in a long time. Prior to my intimate time with God, I thought I needed circumstances changed to heal me or I needed David to heal me. But really, I came to find out that all I needed was God. He alone is more than enough.